I was aware of this website during my early days of “discovery”. However,after a frustrating Google search (I couldn’t string the keywords in the first go), I was rewarded by this “corporate gibberish generator”

Type in any random string and let’s see the results for Hutch.

At Hutch, we have come to know how to streamline extensibly. The e-business, C2C2C Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. If you actualize perfectly, you may have to expedite intra-vertically…..Hutch is the industry leader of visionary super-partnerships…Hutch practically invented the term “social networks”. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive bandwidth and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding.

This is just the “tip of the iceberg”. I have a feeling that most of the “business leader types” cross refer such customised generated gibberish, with the sole exception of “misleading”.

Enjoy!

Ho hum. Don’t we all know about the truth behind the “famed millions”? Business World carried out a “survey” to identfiy the “leaders” in respective segments. Hutch has come out “on the tops”.

The growth of Hutch from no where to somewhere has been majorly fuelled by opaque cross holdings. Hutch was lucky to be able to buy out BPL mobile, run by Rajiv Chandrashekhar. His claim to fame was the famous spat with his father in law over the spoils of BPL that is trying to resurrect itself and Mumbai license.

Mumbai is the most important market overall. Being the financial hub of India, the spending power and hence the disposable incomes are on the higher side than All India average. Therefore, any company having a presence in the city would surely be able to drive it’s revenues from voice services and add ons.

As for the service part, there is no differential as compared to the other service providers. I have been getting a lot of spam and promotional messages that inundate my inbox; thus forcing me to purge the whole thing once in a while. It is a clear violation of my privacy but then Asim Ghosh, the CEO, doesn’t really think so. He has to drive the revenues, come what may, and pose for preety pictures while spewing out mountains of corporate crap.

Business World is slowly morphing into an advertisement driven magazine. At times, there is an interesting mix of write ups but on a recurring basis, it is disturbing.Frankly, how do these surveys really matter? In the huge technicalities of the “methodology”, the intended purpose is lost. I doubt whether money power plays a part but, by and large, this is all about “perceptions” about a company. The so called “corporate excellence”, even while your peers may hesitate to even piss on you.

The mongrel (or the pug for the “educated”) did some wonders for Hutch. Similarly, in the recent “re branding” exercise, they switched over to dirty pink which is an eye sore in my opinion. How does it improve on their customer orientation? My very first Hutch post paid bill was faulty; any number of emails for the suggestions/complaints went unanswered.

Therefore, Business World has to factor in all these differing variables. There is no independent methodolgy to assess the telecom sector in India; most of the “surveys” are elaborate deceptive exercises funded by the industry itself to keep a buzz about itself. Further, it isn’t about “lifestyle” per se with a smiling moron of a Khan endorsing the product. It’s about utility and word of mouth advertisement about the services that matter the most.

A well thought out strategy and we are left with only “notional competition”. Some day, Business World might as well as bring out another survey that BSNL has topped the rankings because it has introduced live sex chats free of cost. A possibilty. If this sounds absurd, well the present scenario is absurder!

Of late, I have been contributing some of my write ups to Desi Critics. A series of posts under the same heading have appeared on these links.

1) The Media And The Reservations Issue.

2)The Reservation Debate: Seeking Inspiration from the “Internationale”

3)The Current Reservation Debate.

4)Reservation Debate and Media’s Response

5)The text of the email published in The Pioneer

6)Text of the email published in The Hindu.

I hope you find them interesting. This is just a small effort to keep the issue alive.