Tag Archive for 'Advertising'

Virgin Mobile India: Something “different”?

Published on 26th Oct 2008 in Indian Telecom, Tata Indicom and virgin mobile. 1 Comment Tags: Advertisement, Advertising, Broadband, BSNL, DTH, handsets, India, Mobiles, Opera, Tata, Virgin, Virgin India Mobile, virgin mobile, Virgin Sucks.

Virgin Mobile is going full throttle with it’s advertising blitz; I remember, there was some issue with it’s licence because it was a virtual network operator. Tata claims that it isn’t. The truth, as to who fathered it, is not known to anyone.

The “bastard” of this company is trying to grab attention like an unwanted company. It makes tall claims about it’s “superior network coverage” and it’s “young outlook”. Pooh. Who the f*** cares about it anyway? On what basis has it made these claims? It’s hard to discount it, nevertheless, we could take it with a pinch of salt anyway.

Their website is an overdose of flashturbation. Its a bad idea to attract the dudes who have no decent access to broadband. In anycase, it chokes on my crappy bandwidth of BSNL at home.

I have no clue about the new “execs” at the helm of the affairs but if their CEO is a rich bored millionaire who has nothing else to do excpet launching himself in hot air balloons or dance with skimpy chicks, it speaks a lot about the professional attitude of a company. It doesnt promote the seriousness with which it needs to be taken; instead I have a creepy feeling that they are just fly by night operators.

The idiots need to realise it that a strong message doesnt go by having whacky advertisements. Drop down the prices, subisdise the cost of the handsets and bleed the new players by being able to offer services based on quality. I still have to come across a subscriber of this company who has said anything positive about there efforts. I wouldnt be surprised if they give in free mobiles with a rider of a locked in period. Unless they have enough balls to do it.

Some late night thoughts

Published on 26th Oct 2008 in General Thoughts. 0 Comments Tags: Advertising, android, Broadband, GPRS, handsets, India, Internet, iPhone, Landline, laptop, Mobiles, Opera, Reliance, Vodafone, Vodafone sucks.

I have been travelling over the weekend back to my native place which was untouched by the glitz and glamour of the metros. This Diwali seems to be muted; partially because of the economic recession and partly because of the widespread inflation.

I still cannot understand the “mobile story” and “fastest growth” crap. More and more people are migrating towards parallel connections instead of the trickle down effect as expected. Agreed that “lifetime incoming offers” have appealed to the segment of population who keep their mobiles only for incoming calls, the precentage is far and few inbetween. We have no break up of the demographic profile and if the trends are to be seen, much of the money and the effort is being poured in the metros where there is more of a spending power as compared to other cities.

I have three telephone connections; one for regular use, the other a landline for broadband access and the thrid for calling up other Reliance numbers. Overall, I fail to understand as to how they would account for the “churn” or the “fastest growing segment” because I have never been enamoured of using the VAS. The operators know that there bread and butter segment is the voice calls and I am sure that they would implement the VoIP solutions to cut down on their costs. Everything else is flotsam and media generated hype.

In the same vein, most of the other handset manufacturers are clearly not making any efforts to address the cost of the handsets. Barring the advertising costs, if they implement open source solutions for the newer PDA’s, it can reduce the cost of the handsets to a large extent. Google’s Android would effect this to a large extent; though, I would reserve my comments on it till the time I actually get to use it. It’s still in the nascent stage; I am sure it would mature with the next release as they learn from their mistakes.

Vodafone has not addressed the GPRS connection charges; I still have to come across a reliable operator who can ensure a seamless connectivity across the major highways. I would want to access the Internet on a long boring journey; it remains a pathetic experience to even open up the mailbox. I don’t favor the mobile net on the move partly because of my bais for broadband and partly because it’s assinine to peer in the small screen. Unless of course, one has an iPhone and Safari which makes it a pleasure to surf on the small screen. Brilliant conceptual implementation.

The elections are nearing and I am keeping my fingers crossed for some semblance of the maturity on the following government to provide a clear direction to the broadband access and policy. We can do a lot more once we have a reliable connectivity. We dont need fancy laptops for kids in rural India to demonstrate the “modern with rural” mating. Its assinine to pour in money for something which just remains a showcase and earns you f***ing brownie points for “corporate social responsibility”.

This is just a loose string of thoughts as I was travelling back down. Although, it is a fascinating experience to see the rural landscape change. We realise that there is a lot of untapped potential and there is a chance to “change”.

Virgin Mobile: Service levels?

Published on 04th Aug 2008 in Indian Telecom. 0 Comments Tags: Advertising, handsets, India, Virgin, virgin mobile, Virgin Sucks.

Duh. This is the level to which Virgin Mobile stoops, atleast in US. I wonder whether they can pull of something like this on Indian airwaves. There was a lull in their advertising but the billboards are back and with increased intensity. They are betting big on their incoming calls being paid with branded handsets.

It only goes to prove that the new players would do anything to grab attention and vie for the new customers. I believe that the only way to add customers and retain them is via superior service levels rather than gimmicks like these or the Voadfone’s pug. It only adds choas to the confusion because there is no clear message to the customers. Many people are pissed off or even daunted to talk to the “agents” because they remain faceless and nameless. This means that most of the complaints remain unresolved. I still have to see some kind of an open interaction with the telecom companies and the customers on the websites or otherwise on an open forum where the top heads address the concerns. Once the media comes on in it, I am sure it would give them a lot of mileage. They would be much better off with ideas like these rather than have an idiot endorsing their products for a fancy fee.

By the way, most of the Indians use water for ablutions. It is much more safer and cleaner.

Vodafone India: Billing hassles

Published on 11th Jul 2008 in Other Frustrated Customers and Vodafone India. 2 Comments Tags: Advertising, Billing Hassles, Hutch, India, Vodafone, Vodafone India, Vodafone India Crap, Vodafone sucks.

Despite their brilliant advertising claims, Vodafone India has made a mess of it’s customer care. Why doesn’t it translate into effective delivery at the ground level?

I had made a payment for my mobile phone elsewhere; outside from the home circle. I was assured that the billing system would be updated. As luck would have it, the system didnot update the payment and I started getting messages and calls from female “recovery agents” to pay my dues. Surprisingly, they have a knack of calling in at such odd hours; they start off without even extending basic courtesies. I insisted that I had paid for the amount and I directed them to enquire from their Vodafone Store where I had paid the cash. They did not make any effort to trace the amount but instead chose to lay the entire blame on me.

All said and done, they barred my outgoing calls and I had to make the payments under duress. Although, the phone was working again after much cajoling; they took an entire day to get it “activated”.

My credit limit is more than sufficient and they made me run around like a scared rabbit. What is clear from the entire episode is that despite their claims, they did not bother to check their backend (literally and figuratively) and rectify the issue. It could have been very simple to call up the dud on the other line (through proper channel in their parlance) and find out the billing details as well as the payment made. Although, in the routine cases it sounds audacious because they have to take care of “millions of customers” but the fact is that they cannot afford to loose loyal ones. I have remained with Hutch for over 3 years now only because of their talk plans. So far, I have not had much of the issues with their billing per se but this one off incident has shaken my faith in the company. So much so, that its more of a hurt than anger that’s bothering me.

There are many other stories like these replicated day in day out across the country. With an ineffective regulator and lack of awareness, most of these nitwits are having a free run.

This is the problem with having oligopolies. The customer isnt the king any longer.

UPDATE: I have been updating on the forums as well. So far, no reply from the company.

Spice Telecom: Snapped up by Idea

Published on 27th Jun 2008 in Indian Telecom, Mobiles, TRAI and Telecom News. 2 Comments Tags: Advertising, Buy Outs, Idea Cellular, India, Indian Telecom, Spectrum, TRAI sucks.

Birla’s group Idea snapped up Spice, one of the last stand alone players in the market. Idea cellular is no angel in white. Spice isn’t the best thing to have happened to mobile industry ever although, they were among the initial telecom players to have 900 Mhz spectrum and were the only big players having a huge monopoly for over 3 years. The promoters, Modi group, made huge amount of money. I remember my time in Karnataka when Spice was hell bent on promoting itself as “Southern Spice” and pioneered the use of minimalist advertising.

It isnt a bad deal for Idea. For the intellectually inclined, here is a spiel from Business Standard (although the link is guranteed to go dead soon):

At Rs 77 per share that Idea is shelling out for the loss-making Spice, the latter is valued at nearly 20 times forward enterprise value /ebitda (EV/ebitda) while at Rs 157, TMIL is valuing Idea around 15 times FY09 EV/ebitda. That’s possibly because at the end of the day Idea is a gainer from the buyout; it will be left with cash, which for a telco that’s planning to become a pan-Indian player and is now present in 13 out of 22 circles, can come in handy. So while Idea will pay Rs 2,700 crore for the stake in Spice, it will get Rs 7,200 crore from Telekom Malaysia, leaving it with a net Rs 4,500 crore.

I am jittery about the Telekom Malaysia investing here in India because they are known to be thugs in the big league. Remember the Salim Group which cosied up with the Left Government in Bengal? They paid a pittiance and got prime land at throwaway prices in order to set up “housing colonies” and malls.

This marks the formation of oligopolies although I am surprised that no other company offered better money for Spice considering the fact that mobile portability is not feasible in present times; most of the original subscribers are loyal to Spice irrespective of their services. It would have been a ready pool of subscribers with an efficient spectrum. There is something fishy on for sure.

Did anyone make any noise about the regulatory approval? Would we ever see anti competitive clauses?

3G Phones India: The coming of “Jesus”?

Published on 06th Apr 2008 in General Thoughts. 0 Comments Tags: 3G, Advertising, Broadband, EDGE, EVDO, India, Indian Telecom sucks, iPhone, Opera, Samsung Instinct, TRAI, Virgin Sucks, Vodafone sucks.

This is the stuff of legend. Much like the Christianity, the Apple iPhone is based on lies and subterfuge. I have waxed eloquently from the perspective of an awe struck bloke; about the possibility of what technology can do and deliver. Even for that matter, the design of the handset.

People from all walks of life are now complaining of a tactile “feedback” and that these touch phones may not be the answer to one and all. Who knows? It only depends on which side the advertising dollars have been stuffed up one’s puckered (or gaping) hole. And that you mumble about the next BIG thing coming- like the resurrection or the BIG “O”.

To make matters easier for you to follow here, I am referring to the newly launched Samsung Instinct. It claims to have got it’s bearing’s right. It runs on EVDO networks, has better memory storage but lacks iPhone’s acceleratometers. It does everything whatever an iPhone does…well almost. It doesnt give you a blow j*b as yet. Neither does an iPhone.

I wouldn’t see these phones here in India unless Samsung is smart enough to launch them across the world where 3 G services are available. A much better idea would be to provide a soft launch and make it run on the lousy EDGE networks that we have here in India. Then slowly exert pressure on the operators to upgrade their networks to 3G. It works both ways and I am sure there would be a lot of interest in the blogosphere who would want the next mannah from the heaven to be rolled out.

Hmm. But what are you going to use it for? What makes the phone better than a costly brick? So far, I have had no special luck with my broadband because I dont have a “sticky” content. 2 Mbps or more to check emails? You must be f***ing crazy to waste loads of bandwidth. How much p0rn can a man consume in a day? Games? The latency of online networks would kill you before you can blink an eye. Then what?

I am not inclined to comment on the legality of downloading movies and watching them. The debate over torrents is acrimonious. Again it depends on which side of the big moolah you are on.

Hence, all these touch phones and EVDO thingy remains on the fringes of lunacy. Most of the companies here in India cannot ensure decent connectivity even in the best of the times. Even there in US of A (God Bless America!) Sprint has had to cut back on jobs to save their rat infested ship from sinking.

We haven’t heard of the dire straits of Indian companies for all practical purposes. After all, there would be a ceiling to a growth unless they design something like a blow up that also doubles up as your mobile phone. Or a diamond studded vibrator that could truly be a girl’s friend with a mobile phone built in. (Or something like this)

Airtel Broadband Offensive Advertisement

Published on 24th Mar 2008 in Airtel Broadband. 3 Comments Tags: Advertisement, Advertising, Airtel, Airtel Broadband, Bharti Airtel, Broadband, Times of India.

This is just the worst form of advertising being done by Bharti Airtel. These guys need to think about the message they are conveying to the end customer.

Sam noticed the Xbox 360 videogame controller in the graphic… So perhaps the company is trying to say… Play videogames online on Airtel Broadband and you would have a life. Otherwise, you ought to be ashamed of it!