I shifted to Docomo because of one reason alone. It had a clutter free experience as far as it’s GPRS was concerned. I needed to be connected because of some degree of convenience built in. My documents are in the cloud, I am always connected to my mail (K9 mail app for Android is the best one) and my android handset connects seamlessly to my Ubuntu Desktop as a failsafe mechanism to connect to Internet in case my BSNL Wifi conks up.

Docomo was supposed to launch it’s 3G services from today but it remains a classic example of how NOT to do things. First and foremost is that there ought to be a clear line of communication about the services, what it entails, the expected costs and charges and how the existing GPRS users are going to be migrated to 3G. Common sense dictates that customer care should be informed accordingly and be trained instead of a dumb shit moron trying to answer the queries from “educated and enlightened customers”. Instead, Docomo has failed to inform me in advance about the same. I registered for their “newsletter” but it seems that their backend has conked off. Who is their provider? IBM? Pooh pooh.

Spewing out the venom is not going to help here and neither going to make a difference to the dodos sitting at the top. But we have some expectation from a company that has made a big name for itself in Japan. Yet, at the same time, one should not forget that it is a the Tata’s pedigree which is at work and they are known to pick up the worst among the best for manning their services. This is reflected in their thought process, their work and general approach to telecom services.

Ideally, instead of ham handed approach, they ought to have been clear and transparent. They should have clearly mentioned the service areas, the expectations from their service, the expected speeds and network and the possible charges.

I have always opposed the 3G services and instead always argued for stepping up investments in wireline. The major reason is that 3G can support “fast speeds” but is limited to spectrum and when more customers join the party, it is going to be a major disaster for the company. This has been seen in mature markets where 3G is synonymous with pathetic services. Further, high costs for “unlimited access” is plain stealing. No one likes the crap of “fair usage policies”. For most, GPRS is decent approach because mobile broadband sucks.

Lets see what the company has to offer and how it plans to market it. It has set up a separate page for the same and I am wondering who okayed this kind of pure crap. (with loads of grammatical errors and mistyped words- emphasis mine).

Here’s from the horse’s mouth:

Now DO the new with 3G, at a refreshingly fast pace. Coming from the world leaders in 3G, Tata DOCOMO 3G is an all-new way to experience life on the go!
Life on 3G is definitely fastera, richer & exciting. With Tata DOCOMO 3G, your mobile phone is no more just a device that makes calls – it””s a TV, a theatre, a gaming console and a satellite camera all at once. Do much more with your smartphone than you ever imagined!

Now can anyone of these dumb fucks ever care to explain about “satellite camera”? PMSL

It also makes tall claims about playing “3D games”. And it speaks about “better network security”. WHOA!!

Here’s one for starters:

Selection_001 –

Here’s another monstrosity:

Selection_002 –

Instead of a cluster fcuk of news with overdrive of PR agencies to bombard the message, Docomo should be clear of what they want. Assholes.

I suspect that some research agency is behind their PR efforts. Here is what one dumb fcuk had to say about Tata Docomo 3G on DNA (Newspaper) and I quote:

Sujay Misra, managing director of AZ Research Partners, says one of the reasons for this is their subscriber-base is predominantly low-end. “You need to have the right instrument (high-end mobiles and smartphones) to get access to 3G services. Also, BSNL and MTNL have not bothered to educate their customers about the 3G services,” he said.

Really? Why would they even bother to put you on print? This is what you get from paying your way through, you moron?

Hence, Tata Docomo is a MONUMENTAL FAILURE even before it has seen it’s commercial activity. There are people crowing about this company getting it’s “first mover advantage” but other companies in the fray are investing in 3G for spectrum and more customers. Data services are not even on their minds. The reason? There is no dedicated system for “apps” and they are sold as “value added services” to shore up “extra revenue” but not at the expense of voice calls. They still make profits on voice calls. This is a heterogeneous market and no one size fits all. Despite the marketing chutzpah, voice still remains bread, butter (and jam) for these companies. Give or take SMS.

Tags: 3G, android, Assholes, Broadband, Broadband SUCKS, BSNL, data services, DTH, GPRS, Internet, Mobile, Mobiles, MTNL, SMS, Spectrum, Tata, Telecommunications India, TRAI, Value Added Services, Wifi

Ha! This was totally unexpected. BSNL has alleged that TRAI’s faulty policies are hampering it’s growth across various circles. It was big news but then allegations are difficult to prove otherwise.

A much more prudent option would be to analyze the situation and fix the guilty party. TRAI, to my understanding remains out of bounds for the general public. A public body ought to formulate the policies by LISTENING to them rather than stick around in isolation. Yet, it remains open to lobbyists of all hues and the post retirement bonanza is always an option for the retiring bureaucrats.

Remember Baijal? He had done nothing revolutionary while in TRAI but the worst part was that he went on to join some kind of a rag tag consortium of the private players as a “facilitator”. The exact details elude me since I had read this in one of the weekly magazines (for which I don’t have time now). Loosely translated, it is the big boys club where they are known for their wheeling dealings and lobbying since these guys are fully aware of the levers of power.

What this means for you and me? It means that SMS would be atrociously charged even though it is FREE for the telecom companies; customer care is a farce because these are fronts for these companies as the real buggers hide behind the smokescreen and your hard earned money is being palmed off easily.

My mail in response to Sunil Jain’s write up in Business Standard was published recently (in fact quite a lot of them though). I had clearly mentioned that BSNL does not lack the expertise to roll out the networks but rather it has been ham handed by TRAI and the network expansion plans locked up in court battles which stunts it’s growth. This means that a poor coverage of the private players in rural areas continues as it is because these bastards won’t let the others grow. This also means that behind the glitzy advertisements, your over dependence on these players is being taken for granted and for a ride.

TRAI needs to be dismantled or radically overhauled. It’s time that companies like BSNL speak out against them.

I am putting up the published email in it’s entirety.

The real reason for the loss of market share is the ham handed policies
and has nothing to do with lack of an opportunity. For over many years,
BSNL’s expansion for over 40 million lines for GSM has been held up in
court cases or stuck because of the objections of various ministries. This
speaks volumes about the operational efficiency of the PSU’s.

Mr Jain’s write up clearly points the anomaly. The entry of private
telecom players is welcome because they have worked hard to improve the
teledensity. However, this has definitely come at a cost to Indian
industry. None of the telecom equipment is manufactured in India and we
are dependent on the big majors from the Western world. Broadband as a
metric for the GDP languishes. Mobile connectivity based on voice alone
would not contribute to their kitty based on low ARPU’s; most of the
mobile operators have shied away from creating custom applications for
shoring up the value added services. Finally, having a private operator
does not mean that services are automatically ensured. There are a large
number of forums where people recount their horrible experiences with the
telecom operators; no one seems to be wiser than the other.

All of this to be kept in mind before they can get a clean chit. The real
public sector needs to be shored up, given operational freedom to choose
with the best practises and ideally no interference from any quarter. This
would be a fair enough ground to test for the acquisition of customers.
Further, the PSU needs to shed their complacency in case they need to
survive instead of relying alone on the taxpayers money.

Tags: Advertisement, Broadband, BSNL, Business Standard, GSM, GUI, India, Mobile, Opera, SMS, Telecommunications India, TRAI, Value Added Services

There is no authoritative verdict on Indian Telecom scene. In the absence of any concrete statistics, it becomes difficult to pin down the exact number of subscribers, the actual growth of the telecom sector and value added services.

TRAI releases it’s numbers from the industry proclamations; it has not thought to independently audit the claims. Neither does the Department of Telecom (or may be that I am unaware of any such publication in the mainstream media). I have criticized 3G on many occasions and I see no merit in sinking in huge amount of funds on a technology which would get outdated in rapidly evolving 4G standards. All the more, India missed a golden opportunity to set up it’s own standards for mobile telephony thus forcing the mobile operators to set up an ecosystem of not only the entire gamut of the telecom equipment but handsets also. It would have spurred on demand for quality and generated much better employment prospects than importing the crap dip shit that we are forced to put up with now.

No handset comes closer in terms of oomph and style; something of the likes of an Apple iPhone with it’s iTunes store. While it is profitable, something similar is next to impossible to find here in India- the market of apps is right there but there is no serviceable product.

Nokia has failed terribly; I am definitely impressed by the new layout of it’s Ovi Store but trying to find an app that works across all platforms is like looking for a needle in a haystack. To worsen the matters, the price quoted is in Euros. If any asshole from Nokia India is reading this, please understand that its not possible to pay in Euros here because THAT is NOT the national currency. Besides that, none of the applications are a must have. No wonder, the Finns are getting clobbered left right and centre; the market share has definitely slid down to 60% as per the estimates.

This brings me to the final question. If we dont really have apps or the snazzy and the jazzy handsets, what are we really fighting for? Why should 3G should really be auctioned?

If Internet connectivity is the SOLE criterion, then public Wifi’s should be set up. The Wifis should be free for access upto a certain speed limit; beyond that a price mechanism be set up for higher access speeds. Or broadband initiative be accelerated with the huge amount of Universal Service Obligation Fund (last heard it had swelled up to 18,000 crores). But well, since the lobby market exists in a big way, we can only hope.

For a better round up of the telecom scenario, please read an insightful write up on Knowledge@Wharton write up.

Tags: 3G, API, author, Broadband, Department of Telecom, EDGE, handsets, India, Internet, iPhone, mainstream media, Media, Mobile, Opera, Telecommunications India, Telecommunications India, TRAI, Value Added Services, Wifi